It’s been quite interesting few weeks. I finally found a core reason for the problems I’ve been having my entire life. It’s called Asperger syndrome (wikipedia). I’ve been going through my past by looking at it from Asperger’s point of view, it finally makes some sense. The diagnose is not official yet, but I’ll probably go to neurological tests to make it so.
Personally I don’t think Asperger’s is a sickness/condition you need/can cure. It’s just a different way of looking at the world. Our brains just work differently than most peoples, which is not a bad thing necessarily. For example, I have a photographic memory in some situations. On the other hand, sometimes my memory works very poorly.
My next mission is to learn how to cope with the negative effects of this condition. For example, the breaks I’ve been having with CubicExplorer’s development are directly caused by those negative effects. The goal is to maximize all positive effects and minimize negative. Positive effects include logical thinking, pin point accurate concentration, looking at problems from different perspectives, good memory…etc. Those abilities fit perfectly into programming, that’s why I like coding so much. And that’s why I’m very exited and positive about the future.
What happens next and what about CubicExplorer?
I finally got a temporary disability pension (lasting to the end of 2010). It’s quite difficult thing to get here in Finland (it took 2 years and 4 doctor statements for me). This means I can finally focus on solving these issues without pressure. It also means I have to take distance to this site and CE. You can think of it like rebooting your brain.
However, when I’m not feeling any pressure, I can be very productive and I’ll most likely will work with CE because I’m very exited about it’s future. I’ve started polishing CE 1.0 and hope to release it before summer. Also there will be snapshot releases as soon as I add new bug fixes or features. However, it’s also possible that there isn’t much progress on CE during this year, at the moment it’s impossible to say how things move.
Another change is these “weekly” notes I’m writing. I have to stop them for a while also and write only if there is something to report. However, I might start writing to the blog section more about non-CE related stuff, not sure yet.
Anyway, the way I see it, this break is a very positive thing for CE. I’m looking forward to keep building CE and to make it a program it deserves to be.
Have a great spring everyone! Snow is melting and floods are subsiding here in Finland .